Happy birthday my son

It’s been awhile since I last updated. So much has happened in the past 3 weeks, moreso because our little boy decided to pop out early to say hello. I was totally unprepared for labour, because we were still 3 weeks away from D-day. 

The morning of 22 May I woke up to really bad cramps in the stomach. Panicked a little because this wasn’t something I had experienced before. I started timing and they were coming in every 15 minutes, the pain lasting for about a minute and then going away. Read up and thought it was just pre-labour. Even asked my God sis who have given birth a few months ago if she experienced this, which she did. Didn’t think about it much because pre-labour can last a week and I was thinking damn, this much pain over the next few days? Oh well. 

I called the NUH delivery ward just in case and explained what I was going through and all. Nurse said it was normal and only if my water burst or that I was bleeding, then I should consider coming in. So fine. That was like 9 in the morning and the husband and I were all like, let’s just take a nap and rest and see how it goes. Fast forward to night time and we were about to have a rather later dinner. I was on the bed trying to find a position that was comfortable enough to bear all the cramping pain when I felt something start to slide down my leg. You know that feeling when you just got your period and you know it’s blood and not anything else. 

Jumped into the shower, looked down and yeah. Blood. Start panicking. Told the husband we needed to go to the hospital and he was just about to savour his Teh tarik. Called the delivery ward again to let them know what happened. Nurse said could be a false alarm. False or no, I was going to go over to get some peace of mind. Booked a Grab, waddled slowly to the delivery ward together with my mum in tow and checked in. After all the checkup, doctor said I was 4cm dilated. Like what? Isn’t that fast? Too early? You mean I was already in labour? Eh? 

Changed clothes, peed a number of times, suffered through the contractions until I finally told the nurse that ok let’s go get epidural. By then we came in at 1030ish at night, epidural at about 11ish. The whole epidural thing would have gone smoothly, if I wasn’t such a big chicken. I hate needles and I hate kot knowing what’s happening but I think i wouldn’t have been able to cope had I known what was happening. The husband was by my side throughout the whole thing and the doctor was telling me to bend my back and all towards her. Of course I also know that her fingernail was actually codeword for needle. Don’t know how many went in but apparently, a lot. I just needed the relief because the cramps, were starting to get mighty intense. 

Poked and strapped and lying down one would think the pain would go away or at least be less intense. After all, the husband said with epidural I got a 70% discount on the pain. But it wasn’t the case and Allah Almighty the next few waves I started crying. The machine was a little faulty and instead of dispensing the 10mg, I was only getting 1mg. The doctor had to be called back, with a new machine, but in that time she told the nurse to check me. 

“She’s full.” 

Which is codeword for I am all 10cm dilated and this baby is gonna come out whether I’m ready or not. Cue the delivery doctors and the neo natal team who were ready to transport our boy over to the ICU once he came out. They gave me gas until I had to start pushing and then it was like sets of 3 pushes. Think I pushed a total of 12 times before the doctor told me to stop and I felt something on my stomach. 

When he cried, I cried. Time check, 139am, I was in labour for 3hours and I was done. 

We didn’t have a chance to see him. It all happened so fast. One moment on my belly and the next they whisked him away to get measured and then onto the ICU bed because his oxygen levels were low. 

I didnt get to hold or cradle or carry or even see my son proper that night. I don’t blame them. The team had been briefed on our boy’s condition and they were on standby, fast and swift in making sure he was quickly stabilised. 

I was stitched up, wheeled to a ward to recover. By then the husband had left to send mum home and I was alone. I would only be able to see my son the following day. It was a lonely night. Womb empty. Arms empty. A blank dreamless sleep. 

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